Letters To My Father

While cleaning out an old email inbox I came across some great correspondence between me and my father.

Subject: Papa

From: Me

Date: Wed, Dec 3, 2008 at 11:47 PM
To: Father

Ciao.  How are you?  Feeling better?  I'm making a scarf but running out of the gray yarn so I might have to be creative.  I also don't know how to end the scarf so it may end up very very long.  Did you hear about Plaxico who shot himself in the leg.  At a club.  With sweatpants on.  Because the gun slipped out of his sweatpants.  I know, right?  P.s. he is named after a Plastics Company.  At least none of your children grew up to be that guy.

I saw a picture of an ornament on the White House Christmas tree that just had Teddy Roosevelt's head painted on it and I think that's what I want for Christmas.  Make it happen.  Also, a life-size bust of his head.  And a ukulele.  I'm serious about the ukulele though, I think it's my calling.  I can learn tip toe through the tulips and we can skip through fields together while I play it.  Or I can play Christian pop songs on it and make everyone sit around in a circle at Christmas and have them sign along and feel really awkward. Oh, the possibilities!  Also, a beret and a sweater with a cat on it would really make it all perfect.

I have a headache. 

Goodnight and Good luck,

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From: Father
Date: Thu, Dec 4, 2008 at 6:38 AM
To: Me
I forwarded this E-mail to the Independent to be printed with the letters to Santa...I also highlighted what may be a Freudian Slip....I love you so!

Subject: California dreaming
From: Me
Date: Wed, Apr 1, 2009 at 10:01 PM

To: Father

Father,

I just can't go on living with all this stress with school.  I'm leaving for California in the morning.  I'm just gonna hitchhike it.  If that fails, I'll just walk.  I have to leave.  Please understand.  I'm going to live on the beach for a while.  Maybe I'll find a commune that will take me in.  I can help grow marijuana plants and play the ukulele.  Maybe I could find work at the renaissance festival and work as a wench while searching for spiritual guidance from fellow rennies.  I have everything packed up.  Please don't try to stop me.  This is my destiny.

I love you,

P.S. please don't be sad, because, like Barry, I feel sad when you're sad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebSYPnllFx8

From: Father
Date: Thu, Apr 2, 2009 at 6:18 AM

To: Me

As an alternative to the dangerous road, I suggest just kicking back and let the Barry  videos lead you into total Nirvana.  I watched five until I reached a Chipmunks version that jolted me back into the real world....I love you...Dad------