Musings On A Rainy Day

It's raining.  It's raining.

Lately, I've been feeling a bit restless which is probably only magnified on a dreary Tuesday.  I suspect that I'm not quite living up to my potential.  I shouldn't say lately, I guess.  I've been restless my whole life.  But time is passing so very quickly and I don't feel like I'm making any gains.  I've plateaued perhaps.  I'm stagnant.  I made the switch recently from non-profit to for-profit (not my own, assuredly) and I no longer have the feeling of working for something that matters or that makes people lives better.  Not that I was, really.  But now I sit at a desk, I process invoices, and I put heaving stacks of paper in numerical order.

No one needs a college degree to put a stack of paper in numerical order.  I'm surviving.  That might just be all I can ask for right now.  The only idea I have is to go back to school, perhaps then I can get a job that requires a college degree.

But mostly, I would just like to move into the woods.  I want to grow vegetables and chop wood and make pancakes.  I want to spend zero money for weeks on end.  I want my muscles to ache not from working out but from moving them for a purpose.  I want to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life and not, when I come to die, discover that I had not lived.

WOAH, sorry to go all Thoreau on you there.  That was weird.